Monday, December 04, 2006
actually today was quite a fruitful dae and when i reach hm, i was happy wanting to blog abt wat happy during the OGL camp and the selling of bears today. but gt to read her blog, her entry is abt us, she is jealous, full of regrets and cant forget abt him, saying we are not compatable and so on, all these spoil my mood and make mi cry for for hours while tinking, so, i am the third party now? am i in the wrong? i duno wat to do, have the very sick feeling, my heart sinks to the bottom, no strenght to tink anymore. told him the other dae when we met her, but he dun believe mi, sae i was tinking too much, told him i can sense it, but he dun believe, but now, it is true. my feelings are rite, so does it mean that my feelings of him still caring abt her is oso rite? i duno, but tink of this make my tears rolling down again, dun wana tink abt this anymore, but all the tinks she blog keep cuming back, so sick and tired, so afraid, dun tink my heart can feel anymore, dun wan my mind to think but i cant, can someone just save mi frm this? help! tink i will be drowning in her words soon... he will nv know how i feel when i'm blogging this, so lost, so down, so afraid.tink i should go back to what i am suppose to blog, to let my mind go away from her blog, into my own memories again. OGL camp! ok blog abt OGL camp, went for the camp on thurs with an uneasy feeling, cuz duno any girl frm my OG, only noe yh and sm, dun tink they can accompany mi cuz we will be living in different bunks and both of them have their own friends too, but still go to the camp since is i initiate for the camp. went to sch early in the morning with barly 3 hours of sleep, was a little late but nv get scloding, heng ar, cuz alot of ppl oso late mahx. saw sh, and have a relieve feeling, cuz she was in the same OG but she has her friends too, but nvm, i am thick skin enough to stick to them like a glue when the ask us to go to our bunk and sm was alone cuz tiger beer nv turn up fpr the camp, noe he will be lonly so i ask yh to accompany him, but still, later in the dae, everytime i saw sm, i can feel the sianess on his face, try my best to talk to him, but it is always not possible, plead yh again to pei sm, but still dun see them always together, hiaz, oso duno wat to do liao. after some boring stuff and games, it was nite time already, haha, gt jg to pei mi sleep in the nites, cuz dun really clique with sh's frenz so i was happy that in the nites, i can sleep with someone i'm more familar with. although i was quite tired, but the floor was so hard that it was quite difficult for mi to sleep, the cold breeze at nite oso awoken mi at nite, wat a nite sia, was awoken a few times.the 2nd dae went past quite fast cuz it was all games and stuff, and we are oso busy preparing the performance for the special nites, so dun have much time to feel lonely too, but i will still notice sm alone in a corner with two very quiet guys and 3 of them were always in a corner. feeling very guity and uneasy, so i went to talk to him at times, oso, i plead yh again to pei sm, he always sae ok but like not doing so leh, everytime run here and there and talk to other ppl but nvm lah,. noe he gt try lah, sm dun really talk to new friends de, so it is oso very hard for yh. hiaz, really dun like sm to be alone, rather that it was mi being lonely, but maybe its becuz i'm quite talkative, i can get into different clicks easliy, tink i have conversations with everyone in my OG bahx, hiaz, maybe next time should teach sm how to make friends. the nite came very fast, and i actually sand lao shu ai da mi in front of all the OGL during our performance, tink it was really stupid but since, gt 4 other ppl pei mi so it was ok lah. sleep with jg again at nite, but this time, in her bunk, with desiree they all, although i was super wore out for the 2nd dae, but talk to them till 3am in the morning, we were gossiping like nobody's business and i have enjoy that moment, tink it was the best time i have in the camp bahx.time files, and it was the 3rd dae liao, nth much and we ended our camp at around 11 plus, went out with jh they all for a big feast cuz the food provided during the camp were really sux, white bread during breakfast with cold hard rice during lunch and dinner. after tat, went hm to shit first before i went singing with jh they all agin, cuz i have stored the shit in my stomach during the camp mahx, so cant really tahan after pieces of pizza have thrown into my stomach. oh yar, i almost forgot, my phone was low batt when i go to the camp lah, so i cant really use it and it was like so sian lohx, thought i didnt charge it properly, but when i came back from the camp and charge it for one whole dae, the batt is still low, so i tink my phone poilt liao, tink i'm going to get a new phone soon bahx, sianz, need to waste monet again sia, hiaz... went to sell bears today, was reallt tired but still very enthu cuz i was the overall in charge, manage to sell twenty over bears and i thought it was quite good for a start liao, hmm dan after that during the second shift was abit slack cuz desiree took over mi and i was quite shag after standing for the whole afternoon, so didnt really do any work. went back home with my whole back aching, thought of coming online to relax, but... hiaz, read her blog make mi even wrost, aiya, dun talk abt it anymore le, only will make mi moody nia, tink i end off here back, need to go and catch some sleep le, but tink will not sleep quite well bahx...P.S: sm, sorry that i sort of ps you during the camp, tried my best to pei you but dun really have the chance, sorry...
& 1:18 AM
stuck in reverse ♥
