Monday, September 25, 2006
erm... let mi see... 2 more days to promos liao... ARH!!! i haven finish studying half of the subjects, think i gonna be real dead sia, but nvm, at least i did put in more effort than i did for my O's, think that it will be an improvement bahx...
sianz, these few days are our study leave but still, i have to go back to school cuz i will be able to concentrate at home mah... meet yh they all at 9am, dan all of them were late... start my day in the library printing my econs notes, dan the stupid computer spoil loh, dan mi n lm had no choice but to sit there and wait for the uncle to fix it, after that, study for a while and went out for lunch.
suddenly, duno what come over mi, i felt very emo, dun really have the mood to talk, so just quietly eat my favourite yoshi beef set meal. saw sy, gary n wp while eating, i called out to them and out of no where, i have the strong urge to pour out the sorrows inside to sy, maybe is because he is a very good listener bahx and we are kinda in the same situation, that may be the reasons why bahx. but, i don't have a chance to do so. went back to school, still feeling emo, and continue with my studies.
not long after, i suddenly recovered from my emo mood, and was quite back to original again. because, yh n solo really entertain mi with their lamenss when we were studying lah, i can see even joe was having a great time. and this goes on and on, studying n crapping till 6pm. then, we went home and mi n joe went to buy some stationaries for the coming exams...
hmm, really nothing much happen today, just some stupid mood swings that's all i think. well, to all my JC's friends, all the best for your coming promos, if anywhere in between you are lost and duno what to do, just think that i will always be there for your de ok, jia you, jia you, jia jia you! yar... here's the pics i took on friday when i played with the 'hard gay' toy...
& 7:35 PM
stuck in reverse ♥
Sunday, September 24, 2006
promos is coming and everyone is mugging but why can't i find the mood and motivation to mug? how... what if i can't get promoted? i really did try to concentrate, but nothing seem to be getting in, die liao... what should i do now? i think the only solution is to continue mugging like others bahx... but will it still help? it's like only a few days to promos liao... well then, let faith decide where and how should i go on bahx... so long... =)
& 8:49 PM
stuck in reverse ♥
Friday, September 22, 2006
today, i'm real moody sia, super duper moody, everything that comes by seems wrong, none of them is in place. put it a lot of effort, and this is what i get... all e this feelings have been surpressed mi for the past few days and finally, i'm letting it out. don't wish to talk about what happen, just simply, all these school stuffs have really make my day.
after school, board on the bus, sit at one of the end corner, tears started to roll down from my cheeks, tried to control them, but they just don't listen to mi, this goes on and on until i reach home, lie on my bed, the tears still continue to roll down, i'm stress, so stress that i'm not e old mi anymore, e old mi won't cryher lungs out for school work, no she won't but why now i'm behaving like this? i hate this mi, i hate her, hate her for being an emotional freak, a scary cat who don't dare to fight and cry when she meet troubles, just hate her.
promos are coming, no i don't wana retain, i really don't, try my best to strive but all these sourrounding shit is holding mi back pulling and grabbing to prevent mi to go forward. i wana scream it out loud but, no one can hear mi, no one can, it has always be mi and myself in my life. i know you will be there to help, but i just duno how to reach out to you, i just duno how, i need help so badly but i just duno, duno how to ask for help...
time pass by, stuff the lollipop into my mouth and try to stop the tears. eyes were too tired to open, slept through the afternoon with tears on my pillow and lollipop in my mouth. woke up hours later, the lollipop was still inside my mouth, but i feel better, much more better. half of my sorrows were gone, maybe buried in the sweetness of my mouth, went into my stomach and hopefully, never to return again...
sorry for reprimanding at you today raymon, don't really mean it this way, but i just too moody to save the situation. and to mr fong, thanx for your lollipop, it really help mi through, and brought mi back from the bottom of well and up again... sianz, so emotional, duno what to do, but one small good news to share, i have played the limited hard gay toy, it's cool... =) lame but trying to make myself happy, so play along ok? yay!
& 7:36 PM
stuck in reverse ♥
Sunday, September 10, 2006
" the more i try to let go,the more i know i love you.the pain is so strong,so strong that it tightens my heart and take my breath away.i know i shouldn't be doing this,but i just can't, i just can't stop thinking about you... "
& 7:13 PM
stuck in reverse ♥
i'm sorry, really sorry for what happen. i meant to help, i really do, but it's just seem that i have screw them up again...
& 1:00 AM
stuck in reverse ♥
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
these are the 5 things i hate which i brought myself into...
1. a mind full of you
2. broken hearts
3. swollen eyes
4. sleepness nights
5. repeating love songs
real foolish right? i thought so too, but i just cant control my feelings, and now they are controlling mi...
~ the last thing i need is the pity look frm your eyes.....
& 4:00 PM
stuck in reverse ♥
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
yesterdae, after i chat with yh, i felt very emo, soo sooo soooo emo dat i cry for a long long tym lohx... i duno why i will lyk tat oso, i juz feel lyk cryin cuz alot of tinks iz surpressing on my heart lohx, till i tink i cant breathe liao so, i cry lohx, hopin to get everytink out frm dere n make it empty, so that i wun hurt but... tink i didnt succeed in e end, yh, u bluff mi lohx, u sae cry liao dan nex mornin will ok liao but still... my heart is still cryin lohx...
soo, 2dae when i went to my 4e2 gatherin, i didnt reali interact with e rest sia, juz stay in my small click, cuz i till nw still very emo mah, i oso duno hw sia, muz i cry again 2nite? tp my 4e2 darlings, i'm reali very sorry tat i'm nt enthu 2dae, i promise nex tym tis wun happen again cuz i will try to surpress my feelings and let u see e old siokie k?
oh yar, tink i still gt took some pics durin e bbq, but since i so emo nw, i shld upload dem nex tym... haiz... so emo, oso duno hw to cont liao... hmm, i tink i will let tym wash away all tis pain bahx, i dun wana to get hurt anymre, i dun wana to try again n put myself into all tis shit again, i juz hate tis, why do i have to get myself into tis situation again and again? guess i will try to make a stop here, soo tat my heart will hurt anymre...
" It's hard to live alone, its hard to choose someone to love,but the hardest part of falling is to admit that you have fallen in love with someone you didn't mean to love from the start..."
& 11:24 PM
stuck in reverse ♥
Sunday, September 03, 2006
hiaz... actuali wana blog abt e teacher's eve tinky wan sia, but dan my boy boy still haven send mi e pics, abit sianed liao, dan i ned to wait for soo long b4 i can blog, cuz i dun wana to blog n put up e pics separately mah... soo nvm i will blog abt 2dae first dan go back to blog abt last thurs nex tym...
2dae iz sm bdae! happy 17th bdae! a group of us have decided to celebrate his bdae for him. dey bought a very cute elmo cake lohx, a baby elmo in its diaper, very cute rite? dan actuali we wana suprise him outside his hus de, but duno why he die die oso dun wan us see his hus loh, so he let us wait dwnstairs for super long liao... tink his hus gt gold sia, hiaz... mi n joe dey all actuali wana see hw his hus look lyk wan loh, dan he soo secretive, we oso bo bian...
so we wait for super duper long before he came dwn, dan we blow candle, cut cake e same old stuff... dan e sy kuku rite, ask mi to smash e cake at sm face lah, so i did guess wat? i gt smash back oso, dan make until my hair my face, dan lyk super 'er xin' loh, e chocolate smell iz all over my face and very oily oso loh, even if i wash with e soap rite, e smell still stays on my hair loh, so eeek lohx...
dan we went to play basketball, cuz i dun reali noe hw to play, pluz my leg reali abit kuku mah, soo didnt reali play, dan dun wana pull my team dwn, so after a while, i juz sit dere n watch dem play lohx... even it is juz for an hour pluz hor, i still gt a sunburn loh, pro rite? we dan went to e black pepper lunch for lunch, i eat until very full lohx, cuz i buy e big big meal mah, cuz onli tat type dan gt e bean sprot wan...
cuz we didnt reali plan for e dae, so after lunch we juz wander around hougang mall, finally dan we decide to go play pool, yeah... can find place to rest liaoz... so i juz sit dere n watch dem play, cuz i duno hw to play pool oso. sian rite? every activities dey tink of iz all i duno wan, nex tym i muz organise liao... haha... but dan reali very sorry to sm lah, 2dae ur bade dan lyk nt very fun lyk tat... pai seh sia, nex tym i promise will be a better wan...
oh yar, 2dae brandon, my bro cum find mi dan cuz long tym no meet liao so he lyk ask mi alot of tinkz loh, abit nosy lah, but still he very cute lohx... he actuali sae wana save money to buy mi a nice nice slipper when he heard tat i wana but one, sweet rite? i was very touch loh, nv thought tat he will actuali save for mi sia... i tink tat's e most touching words i heard tis week sia... hmm, late la, tink i will stop here bahx...
& 10:24 PM
stuck in reverse ♥
