Friday, September 22, 2006
today, i'm real moody sia, super duper moody, everything that comes by seems wrong, none of them is in place. put it a lot of effort, and this is what i get... all e this feelings have been surpressed mi for the past few days and finally, i'm letting it out. don't wish to talk about what happen, just simply, all these school stuffs have really make my day.
after school, board on the bus, sit at one of the end corner, tears started to roll down from my cheeks, tried to control them, but they just don't listen to mi, this goes on and on until i reach home, lie on my bed, the tears still continue to roll down, i'm stress, so stress that i'm not e old mi anymore, e old mi won't cryher lungs out for school work, no she won't but why now i'm behaving like this? i hate this mi, i hate her, hate her for being an emotional freak, a scary cat who don't dare to fight and cry when she meet troubles, just hate her.
promos are coming, no i don't wana retain, i really don't, try my best to strive but all these sourrounding shit is holding mi back pulling and grabbing to prevent mi to go forward. i wana scream it out loud but, no one can hear mi, no one can, it has always be mi and myself in my life. i know you will be there to help, but i just duno how to reach out to you, i just duno how, i need help so badly but i just duno, duno how to ask for help...
time pass by, stuff the lollipop into my mouth and try to stop the tears. eyes were too tired to open, slept through the afternoon with tears on my pillow and lollipop in my mouth. woke up hours later, the lollipop was still inside my mouth, but i feel better, much more better. half of my sorrows were gone, maybe buried in the sweetness of my mouth, went into my stomach and hopefully, never to return again...
sorry for reprimanding at you today raymon, don't really mean it this way, but i just too moody to save the situation. and to mr fong, thanx for your lollipop, it really help mi through, and brought mi back from the bottom of well and up again... sianz, so emotional, duno what to do, but one small good news to share, i have played the limited hard gay toy, it's cool... =) lame but trying to make myself happy, so play along ok? yay!
& 7:36 PM
stuck in reverse ♥
